TRASH: sample text
Prologue in heaven
From the novel “TRASH – a bible for agnostics” by Johannes Themelis
The novel commences with the following sequence, which becomes a starting point of most diverse discussions in the areas „Believe or not believe“ as well as „Faith and life reality of the believers”.
And in Heaven – wide in terms of some recordings, narrow according to others, a place where mankind more or less accurately projected its conceptions of another world – there was since immemorial times that rivalry between the individual gods, divinities and daemons, that never-ending discussion on whose quotes were higher than the other’s, just now: Jove and Odin and all those, who had once powerfully reigned, but now sneaked about like shadows however, thought with all their heart that their triune colleague deserved his current fading in a secularized occident, where the ideological soil was extracted under his feet. After all, from their point of view, he had expanded his regency unduly by an unfair turnaround from the so-called Old Testament to the New. However this quasi-prolonged Jahwe, who truly had made an ingenious move with the inclusion of a Son and a Holy Spirit, retorted sarcastically, that it was not them – the other old numina –, who benefited of his weakness. No, it was that Allah, who gained ground on earth at breathtaking speed and consequently claimed more place over there – a relatively young almighty, almost indisputable in his hermetic unity: From the outset he had worked with simple statements coined by certain lyric elements, which were – particularly if repeated constantly with rhythmically waved bodies – not to be scrutinized any longer. To write down these sentences he had chosen a certain chap, who was inclined to conventional intoxicants at first, but later however abdicated these completely and cherished his psychic ecstasy only. His devotees followed him herein readily – at the end they even saw him riding on a white horse directly into the clouds…
The manifold illustrious figures all around smiled a little pitiful about this picture, cause all of them possessed their own metaphors and regarded these as the only applicable ones. Here in turn Allah flared up, because he was already enraged in principle by the fact that he had to part Heaven, different to his original imagination, with others. If he had to bear however the presence of so many wrecked colleagues, these should at least learn to understand him as their own continuation and advancement! Not only that he had generally related to the existing, thousands of years old need for religion and therefore had accepted easily that this terrain had been prepared by the earlier sanctities for a long time before him, he had placed himself even intentionally into the tradition of older manifestations of this phenomenon, in particular those of the Jewish-Christian variants. However, he never bore in his mind to provide all these a new reputation, but to show them that he overcame and completed them. They should understand that he only wanted to make it easier for the people of different faith to change allegiance so that his flock of worshippers increased to cover the whole mankind at last. For the same reason he had also given the licence to proceed with fire and sword to his followers because one had probably to accept that in many cases nothing was to achieve without a certain measure of – cruelty.
And he definitely required – gathering momentum now – not to be criticized in this point: „I may simply remind of the crusades, with those pious knights stinging, beheading, staking and raping!”, he shouted to the crowd, violently gesturing, though not even the faintest contradiction was to be heard, everybody being thoroughly bored with this age-old, always identical debates.
Suddenly between the masses of Asiatic looking Heaveners an inconspicuous man stepped out, in all this multicolouredness attracting interest by his plain grey business suit alone. „Kindly permit that I legitimize?”, he simply remarked. „I represent millions of human beings, whom you tend to shrug off as atheists or even villainize as disbelieving, but who are just people, that cannot see what you demand them to see (and I may add: because there is nothing to see at all from an impartial point of view!). And I represent further those wide circles, who would be too glad to see somewhat celestial, if there were not the terrestrial organizations of the various sanctities which disavow such desires by the arrogant thoughts, words and doings of their functionaries, delivering for the sceptics behind me enough reason for their doubts!”
A weazen nature divinity – who obviously felt destined due to his considerable length of service – made himself heard: „What are you doing here at all?“, he asked quite unfriendly. – „Forgive me, if the following sounds somewhat bigheaded for you!“, was the answer: „I am graduated in ontology, scientific theology, psychology, and cosmology and therefore feel reasonably destined to share with all of you this metaphysical place, that accommodates even the human projections of the evil, thus the countless and most different devils with Satan incarnate in the vanguard (by the way, my respect, Your Excellency, you are an amusing interlocutor and thus well invented!). Under these circumstances it will be possible nevertheless to settle here also the projections of nothingness, whether it manifests itself as the missing at all or as the not provable!“
„Blasphemy!“, the natural divinity barked in a rusty voice.
„Let’s face the facts however, Your Worship!“, the attorney of unbelievers fired back. „Even in your Stone Age horde maybe there was one or the other, who wondered why he had to bear the strains and dangers of hunting, while the shaman stayed at home in the cave with the women, but nevertheless claimed the best pieces of booty for himself! What could you counter?“
„The fact that he went out blessed into the hostile environment, that he could feel safe in my invisible hand by the strength of the fetish the clergyman gave to him!“
„But at this point the religious difficulties of our prehistoric agnostic became up more than ever: because though your priest said his consecration at each departure without exception, the success of the adventure did not realize reliably. More still – one or the other of the blessed never returned from such trips…“
„Faith is always right!“, responded the creature brusquely, in order to add triumphantly and – let’s hope – with involuntary cynicism: „If one was to bite the dust, the shaman was required to console the widow!“
Now Allah revolted substantially. The whole thing here already lasted much too long for him, was by far too differentiated – and above all: according to his perception it didn’t concern him at all! The large majority of attendees understood however that it very probably concerned them all, concerned the argument of them all against that of the grey inconspicuous. A beautiful goddess from pre-Islamic Mesopotamia (her name was long forgotten on earth) commanded the sponsor of the Quran to be silent with a charming smile, and behold, he obeyed completely surprised: He personally didn’t possess, in difference to his mortal followers, any strategy opposite women, who arrogated own thinking and own decisions.
And so the representative of religion’s critics could get to the substantial point of his argumentation unimpaired: „I can see here solely otherworld figures, who were brought out by our specific mankind, but there is nobody here, who is adored or dreaded by extraterrestrial civilizations!“
A shock wave went through Heaven. Not only that they were highly gifted past comprehension, was denied, but their universality too: Them, who perceived themselves as highest exponents of the entire cosmos, should – if they were still accepted at all – be at best responsible for this mingy planet!